Monday, January 11, 2010

Inspiration...

Oklahoma! Act 1
Scene One: The back porch and yard of Laurie's farmhouse

"It is a radiant summer morning several years ago,the kind of morning, which enveloping the shapes of earthmen, cattle in a meadow, blades of young corn,streams--makes them seem to exist now for the first time, their images giving off a golden emanation that ispartly true and partly a trick of the imagination, focus-ing to keep alive a loveliness that may pass away forever.

One of my favorite written passages.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Grieving

Instead of getting better, its getting worse. Today was the worse so far. Going home without my father there is torture. The whole house is him, everywhere I look. Now I know what home is where the heart is means. He was home to me. I can barely function. Life was hard enough before this, everything is falling apart. we're about to lose our apartment, then what. All alone and no place to turn. I can't believe hes gone, dissapeared. Sitting where he use to sit last night, just gone. Church and the cemetary today, more torture. I know I'm being selfish and I would like to be able to mourn with them but I stayed in the car. I cant go there. I don't even think I can go home anymore. I have to stay in the city and pretend.